Copied from Prof. Douglas Comer:
Note: This is a revision of the classic essay the low level
of "customer" service and peculiarities of some operating systems
that was written in late 1994. The author is still or wishes to be
unknown.
Unix Airlines
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Everyone brings one piece of the plane with them when they come to
the airport. They all go out on the runway and put the plane together
piece by piece, arguing constantly about what kind of plane they're
building. When another plane lands nearby the passengers begin
breaking up into meetings and trading pieces of the plane.
Fly NT
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Everyone marches out on the runway, says the password in unison, and
forms the outline of an airplane. Then they all sit down and make a
whooshing sound like they're flying. The flight attendant then
announces that they are privileged to be on such an advanced airline,
and if they close their eyes they can imagine they are flying on a
powerful plane that can take them anywhere.
DOS Airlines
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Everybody pushes the airplane until it glides, then they jump on and
let the plane coast until it hits the ground again, then push again,
jump on again, and so on. For relaxation Bill's autobiographies are
tucked in the back of every seat.
MAC Airways
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All the flight attendants, captains, baggage handlers, and ticket
agents look the same, act the same. Every time you ask questions
about details, you are told you don't need to know, don't want to
know, and everything will be done for you without you having to know,
so just shut up. Cute little signs are everywhere and outside every
window there are flying toasters.
Windows Airlines
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The airport terminal is nice and colorful with friendly flight
attendants, easy access to the plane, an uneventful takeoff...then
the plane blows up without any warning whatsoever. All the
decorations fall off, revealing that each part of the plane is
painted the same color blue. In mid-air you are informed that the
rest of your flight will be continued on DOS airlines. (See DOS
Airlines)
Cell Phone Air
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Everyone has difficulties getting into the plane and once they are in
it takes a long time to start the engine and take off is very slow.
The plane only has one window that is so small a passenger cannot
view much at a time. To help, the window is easily moved, allowing
passengers to position it to view one small piece of the scenery at
a time. Each time the plane takes off, an annoying sound is played;
passengers can change the sound to a pleasing tone or song, but must
pay more.
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Xinu Airline
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You arrive at the terminal and are shocked to find that only one
passenger can fit into the plane at any time. Then you are told that
you will have to help finish building the plane and pilot it during the
flight. Unfortunately, because travelers have little prior experience
with either activity, almost all flights crash on take off. To help
out, the airline pads the runway with soft material and supplies a ground
crew that retrieves the plane and lets you start over. One of positive
aspects is that the plane is free, so travelers who do have a successful
flight often take the plane with them, and use it for private flights
at the company in which they are employed.
